lessons...

this will be a short post, friends, a reflection actually about my past few days here in são pãolo...

thursday and friday were spent with sister mercy, a 35-year-old nun from tanzania... she cracked me up with her demeanor and wild style in clothing... she was very informative, though, with information about being a maryknoll sister and about life as a missionary... she's been here in brazil for 6 years and spent the last couple of years discerning before she made her life vows... she shared about the tough decision she faced, either committing her life or not committing her life, with only the support of her parents... none of her family supported her decision to become a sister! her story was very heavy but very real to hear... made me appreciate what she went through to become a missionary... she also told me a little about the struggles foriegners have trying to make connections in communities to start their missions or help flailing ministries shift focus and come to life... good information to hear, the good and the bad.

we also talked about finances and she told me about her monthly expenses and what she normally lives on (very modest and meager means, to be sure) and i thought it would be a nice treat to take her out to a museum and then to eat at a restaurant... she was a great sport as we found the museum pretty easily but had to search for the restaurant... we saw an ad for a real, live tex-mex joint in bairro pinhieros, so we had to try it! and it was sooo good! :O)

this morning, saturday, we woke up early and mercy insisted on guiding me through the metro and back to heidi's apartment... heidi had arranged to take me to the womens prison's monthly Mass with her to talk with the inmates and see what her work is like as an advocate... i am still at a loss for words at what i saw, heard and experienced, but what i do know is that we all take way too much for granted in our fast-paced lives...

the security process for visitors in and of itself was a bit intimidating, i could totally understand someone not wanting to go through that process every week to visit their incarcerated loved one... as such, many of the women wait in vain every week for visitors who never come... it was depressing seeing the hope in their eyes for their spouses, children and other family members as they talked about getting ready for their potential visitors on sunday...

i also learned that although the country provides public attorneys, the women don't have the right to speak with the attorney until a court date has been set for their case... some of the women spend weeks and months--and in a few cases YEARS--just wondering what the status of their case is... for example, one woman was arrested for robbery back in february and has been waiting to hear when she will be in front of a judge to plead her case and she was told it should happen by march, but march was four months ago! she is still waiting to speak to a judge with no end in sight for her waiting game... it's maddening... so, heidi showed me a file full of case upon cases that she looks up every week to see if they've had any updates for court dates... the women spend so much time in angst just wanting to know what their status is. it's ridiculous...

later on we went to Mass with the inmates that showed up... there are over 5,000 inmates there and the guards literally yell through a gate that Mass will be in 5 minutes" or so, and the inmates come and are escorted to an old church-like room... there are shadows where the shape of a cross was etched into the paint by the sun, the old wooden pews creak and tremble as the people slide into them and the makeshift alter is fashioned out of a table... a group of music ministers and a few eucharistic ministers came, along with the priest, to celebrate Mass with the inmates... one of the inmates offered to read one of the readings, and you could tell that even in her prison uniform, she was trying to look her best... she had tied her hair back and put on some lipstick, and stood up in her white tshirt and orange scrub pants and flip-flops and proclaimed the Good News. it was very touching to see... after sharing the Eucharist, we sang some songs with the inmates and many of them cried, sang and swayed with the music... one lady, who i noticed participated as much as possible and listened intently to the readings and the priest's homily, was sobbing as we were hugging everyone goodbye and praying with them before we left... i hugged her and asked her why she was crying, and she said, "i cry because i wait for this day every month when we can have Mass. every day i pray and thank you wonderful people for remembering us and bringing Mass to us. and every sunday i read my bible and pray, because i know that Mass is going on outside of here and i wish i could go." i was in tears as she shared her story and wanted to sit and visit with her some more, but the guards told the inmates it was time to go, so we hugged and i promised to pray for her... couldn't help but let the tears come after that.

i just wondered how many times have i been inconvenienced with going to Mass, saying, "oh, i can't make it because i have to go to church." but really, i should want to go to church, especially knowing that there's people in prisons who would love to go to Mass every week, or even every day, but they can't. man, life smacked me right in the face today...

after Mass, we went back and visited with another group of women in another pod, and i heard more stories upon stories about the women's families, their trials and sentences, waiting and waiting for information or for their time inside to be up... instantly i was thankful for all the fortune i've had in my life that has kept me from making really bad decisions that could have cost me my freedom...

i'm still processing all the things i'm doing, seeing, witnessing, hearing, saying, thinking, feeling here in brasil... but this experience has definitely been one that i can't forget.

i would have never thought about visiting a prison in the u.s., but now, seeing what inmates here go through in person, how can i not visit them when i get back?

i had never thought about helping out our local food banks beyond donating a few cans of food every now and then, but now after visiting my kids' families in the favelas, how can i not do more when i get back?

there's so much work to be done... will you help in some way?