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"thoughts in solitude" - thomas merton

MY LORD GOD,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never
do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils
alone.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

all that & a bag of chips!

hello all!

i had hoped to write before we had WYD Mass in cuatro vientos but i didn´t know that we´d need to be packed up and at the local parish at 11 am on saturday to get to the airport!

the overnight campout was a lot of fun but it was a LOT of waiting. in the heat. with very warm drinking water. and more heat... turned out great, so it wasn´t too bad. :)

fortunately, the heat died down some when clouds rolled in around 7 p.m. the sky just started looking gray and you could tell some number of miles down the way they must have been getting some rain. eventually, the rain did hit us around 9 p.m. while the Holy Father was addressing the crowd. while we all covered up in our rain ponchos and umbrellas, the Holy Father was on the wide open stage getting pelted with rain and wind. the cutest thing ever was hearing him giggle over the loudspeaker and say, ¨what a storm!¨ there was a small delay in the program but when the wind died down he came back on stage. best line was when he said that we were all in this adventure together! the crowd cheered and you could sense the unity among the faithful. it was amazing...

what was absolutely astonishing to me was when we had Eucharistic Adoration on saturday night. 1.5 million people fell silent and worshipped Christ present in the Eucharist. you could literally hear a pin drop! i have never witnessed anything like it before, you could feel a peace wash over the crowd. we were all kind of worked up, especially after such crazy weather earlier in the day. no one seemed to mind what it took to get us to that moment because Jesus was SO worth it.

shortly afterwards, the Holy Father left and promised he´d return to celebrate Mass with us in the morning, God willing. sure enough, he arrived and we had Mass in the warm morning sun. we learned right before Mass that the storms had knocked over some of the chapels where people would be able to go to and pray before the Sacrament throughout the night. so we were not able to receive communion at WYD. it was sad not to recieve there but at the same time, another opportunity to go to Mass at our local parish.

we all got home after an hour or so on the crammed subways and then passed out at our host family´s house. i´m off to get ready for Mass at 7 and then to dinner with some FOCUS people. wanted to give yall an update from madrid before i left. i will be home on the 23rd!

just wanted to let you all know that i have been praying for your intentions daily and took them with me to Mass with the Pope today.

pax et bonum,
crystal

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

ben-e-dicto! (clap clap clap clap clap)

just found out my host family has the internets!!! hooray!

wanted to tell you about a panel discussion session i went to today about the media and the Catholic Church... there were a few panelists that spoke today, namely archbishop chaput, the head honcho from the knights of columbus, the priest who was in charge of organizing wyd in toronto in 2002 (forgot his name!), a law professor and expert on women´s rights and family from catholic university of america and a catholic movie director who just produced a film called, ´¨cristiada.´¨ it was amazing to hear their perspectives about the attention the Church gets--both good and bad--and what they think we as a generation can do to fight secularism in our countries. mainly, authenticity in our Christian witness was the antidote. brings to mind one of my favorite verses which tells us Christians to always be ready to tell people the reason behind our hope in Christ.

i have just a few minutes left here but wanted to share some revelations that i´ve had while taking part in the festivities surrounding world youth day:

1) the Church truly is universal. perhaps this is not a new concept to all of you, so if you have heard this before, please bear with me... but i have always wondered why the Church continues to use latin when celebrating parts of the Mass, particularly the Liturgy of the Eucharist. well, as it turns out, when you get a ton of people together from all sorts of countries, ethnicities and languages together, it can be quite hard to communicate with one another. the beauty of the Catholic Church is that she makes use of a language that all people can understand and participate in, regardless of their native tongue. it all makes sense to me now. all 175+ of us from FOCUS went to the opening Mass for wyd yesterday and while we were in the nosebleeds-of-the-nosebleed section (and were half a mile away from the altar), we could still hear what was going on over the loudspeakers in latin and were able to participate in the Mass. it was an overwhelming feeling to be in the midst of a crowd of that size while praying the Mass in each person´s own native language. we heard german, french, portuguese, spanish and so many other languages all mixing together... and yet, we all said or sung particular parts of the Mass in latin in unison. kind of a real-life experience of what pentecost must have been like! truly mind-blowing how the Church is always changing, yet is ever the same!

2) the entire world is truly represented at wyd! i knew there was a small contingency of youth from my home diocese in lubbock, texas, here at wyd but i had no idea that i´d actually run into some of them! lo and behold, while standing in line during a bathroom break i actually met two young ladies from my hometown! they were superexcited to meet another west texan in spain... it was pretty surreal. then, later on today i was walking down the street to get to an event and someone shouted out ´´hey, texas tech! guns up!´´ a group of teenage boys saw my backpack and they all gave me their guns up! i didn´t have my camera with me but my backpack and i took a picture with them and we exchanged information. i hope they send me the picture, it was pretty amazing to have people from around the world cheering at me about my alma mater...

3) while i love to travel, i am not a big fan of tourists or touristy areas. the myriads of people, the badly coordinated travel outfits, the overpriced ´touristy´ food. yuck. one of the few drawbacks of gathering so many people together in one place.

ok, enough random things... Pope Benedict XVI arrives in madrid tomorrow and we are all so excited! gotta turn in so i can get up early and take the metro in to the city. our host family´s home is about a 40 min subway ride away so i´ve gotta take that into account.

i wish you could all be here! the Church is excited, on fire and ready to be sent out to the world, you can see it on all of the young people´s faces!! whenever there´s a group gathered, it´s common for people to burst into cheers of ¨santo subito!¨ or ¨ben-e-dicto!¨ it´s glorious. :)

i hope to write more later this week before we spend the overnight at quatro vientos airport to celebrate Mass with the Pope on sunday. no promises, but i´ll try. you´re in my prayers... please remember to add the priests, religious, laity and of course the Holy Father in your prayers!

pax et bonum!
-crystal

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

que viva espana!

made it to madrid last night! have to write superquick, i´m currently in the middle of a department store waiting for the personnel to kick me off the comp.

had an amazing experience in avila yesterday after we left the benedictines at 7 a.m. from samos. took a 4 hour bus ride to avila, then spent the afternoon exploring the churches, monasteries and plazas. took your prayer intentions with me to st. teresa´s chapel!

got back to madrid after a 6 hour bus ride and then got assigned to different families. my family has 8 children all under the age of 10! they each wanted their own american! super cute! they are uber-catholic and have already taught us a thing or two about loving your neighbor like Christ.

only thing about madrid--it´s super hot!!! i woke up in a night-sweat twice last night... hmmm, how to fix that... no clue.

went to the love & life center for english-speaking pilgrims today... very hot outside and tons of people from canada, australia, malaysia and of course, the states. tons and tons of priests and religious around joking and talking with teens... great sight to see.

please leave comments or prayer intentions if you have them! i´m thinking of you all...

pax et bonum!
-crystal

Friday, August 12, 2011

so much to say, so little time...

hello friends & family! i am going to try to be brief as the doors to the monastery shut for the night in just 15 minutes...

quick recap--i made it to spain on tuesday after a short layover in charlotte, nc, usa and landed in madrid´s barajas airport... landing in madrid actually looked really similar to el paso, tx--dry & mountainous. it was beautiful, too...

immediately i could sense the excitement in the air, almost like an electricity that you could cut with a knife! in the airport alone we met germans, japanese, peruvians, africans... literally, the world Church is coming together to celebrate this joyous occasion!

we took a quick trip to check in to the monastery where we met the other participants of the FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students) international conference. austrians, italians, brits, americans, germans, french and of course, an american contingent... all of us youth in age yet maturing in our faith. such a beautiful sight to see the Church in action...

we have been blessed by the staff of FOCUS to have developed this wonderful schedule for the week. we have morning lauds (morning prayer) with the benedictine monks, then an hour of silent prayer, followed by a morning talk, followed by tea time, two more afternoon session-like workshops, then a lunch with siesta (woohoo!), followed by another talk with small group discussion and daily Mass. i seriously could not have chosen a better retreat experience... i almost feel guilty because we have 2 priests here with us to hear confessions any time and to celebrate daily Mass! im'reminded that in many parts of the world, people wait for weeks and months for a traveling priest to visit and bring them the Sacraments... pray for an increase in discernment of vocations!

thatś another thing: iḿ understanding more and more that to discern oneś vocation doesnt necesarily mean that that person will become a priest, nun or religious. part of undertstanding our vocation (calling from God) is figuring out how we can love others the best. for some, it may be the priesthood or religious life. for others, it may be marriage of life as a single person. but, to figure that out we have to spend time getting to know God so that we can hear His voice, guiding us and directing us where to go. i asked friends and family back home for prayer intentions to take with me to world youth day and so many of you asked me to pray for the youth, for increased discernment by our young people and for an increase of vocations... trust me, my friends and i are praying for these intentions daily!

i have been humbled by your willingness to send me your prayer intentions! truly, i know we are called into relationship with one another so that we can better live out our faith--what better example of perfect relationship do we have than the Holy Trinity, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, right?--and i am beyond moved that you would take the time to ask me to pray for you and your intentions. the whole Church joins me here in madrid in lifting up you and your loved ones and covering you in Godś grace!

one final thought, especially for the young people back home in the states: i know it is difficult to live a life of virtue, to take the harder road, the one less traveled. i know itś hard to go into our schools, workplaces, and circles of friends and profess our faith. i know itś not popular to have moral certitude based on our belief in Christ. the big, huge, monumental thing i have learned is that WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE! our brothers and sisters all over the world pray the sign of the cross, genuflect before Christ present in the Eucharist and participate in the Sacraments, too. they struggle to turn the tide of culture in their countries, too. but they are keeping up the good fight and so should we! let us be built up in our faith and resolve to be imitators of Christ especially when itś not popular. we are not alone. =)

we leave tomorrow for a side-trip to walk part of the camino de santiago where weĺl be on silent hours for the day. your prayer intentions will be with me on my journey... please keep me in your prayers, i would so much appreciate it!

iĺl do my best to check-in again once we return to madrid to be with our host families sometime on sunday or monday. til then, please pray for the pilgrims from around the world who are descending on madrid... spanish tv reports estimate that there will be nearly 4 million youth present for this celebration of the faith! pray for safety, pray for conversion and pray for unity.

pax et bonum,
crystal