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"thoughts in solitude" - thomas merton

MY LORD GOD,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never
do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils
alone.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

lament by audrey assad

audrey is one of my favorite artists ever and her recent album "heart" has several amazing songs on it that speak to me in different ways... 'lament' means so much more to me since i've made awakening... i've been struggling with this concept of finding and maintaining perfect tension in my life (or balance, you could say) so the first time i heard it, i was deeply moved. anyway, the lyrics are below and you can listen to the song, too... i hope it speaks to you in some way.

I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work and hard to rest sometimes?
Sometimes, sometimes...

I'm restless and I rustle like a thousand tall trees.
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You...
But try as I might, I just can't catch You.
But I want to, oh 'cause I need You, yes, I need You.
Oh, I can't catch You but I want to.

How long, how long until I'm home?
'Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running.
Ooh how long until You come for me?
'Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running.

How long, how long until I'm home?
I'm so tired, so tired of running.
How long until You come for me?
'Cause I'm so tired, so tired of running.

I'm so tired, so tired of running...
Yeah, I'm so tired, so tired of running...
I'm so tired, so tired of running...