sing it...

okay, so it's been a while since i've checked in with everyone... things got crazy, i got behind with school work, work as a nanny has been hectic, yada yada yada. sorry for the excuses. :| plain and simple, i haven't made the time to check in. please, accept my apology. are we friends again? :) in all honesty, all those things really did happen! i got back to school a week late from spain (which i wouldn't trade the experiences that i had at FOCUS conference or at WYD) but it has taken a while to recover from missing lectures and assignments... especially without any books! (another story, another time. ay yi yi!) also, i had problems with getting my schedule settled since some adjustments were made to my school schedule while i was gone, classes didn't make and some classes were combined, and the new classes didn't fit with my graduation plan or work schedule. so... it was a frenzied and aggravating 3 weeks getting everything situated but it finally got taken care of. my job has been a little crazy because the schedule is different than it was last year. i used to have my mornings to myself until 11:30 a.m. so i could get up when i wanted, do my chores or errands, read for school and then go to work. unfortunately, now i'm going to work in the morning and i have a chunk of time in the afternoon when both kids are at school. sounds like a good deal except since i have to wake up early in the morning to make it to work on time, i am usually dragging all day. then, considering i don't get out of class until 10 p.m. on alternating days, i just never recover from the lack of sleep. grrrr. trying to figure out how to make use of my time in a better way that doesn't involve a mid-day rally nap or not reading for school. suggestions? i've also started running again to train for the houston marathon in january! so that has certainly added to my exhaustion but i know in the long run getting in shape will benefit me by having more energy, getting back into my "skinny" clothes (hellooooooo, saving money!) and feeling better about myself... not to mention, hitting another personal goal of mine which is to continue running marathons... internationally! so much has happened in the past month that it's been hard to take the time i need to reflect over my experiences and really 'feel' what happened over those 2 1/2 glorious weeks in spain. the funny thing is, nearly every day i'm reminded of my fellow conference participants during our week in samos or later, when we were in madrid among the myriad of pilgrims at the world youth day events. i find that my sharpest, clearest memories occur when i'm in Mass, specifically during the consecration. it's the most peculiar thing; it's like a collective album of photos of the insides of all the churches that have impacted my spiritual journey, and the priests who have celebrated Mass in my life flash through my mind as they are holding up the most precious body and blood of our Lord on the altar. it's a beautiful sight in my mind's eye. this past tuesday, i was able to participate in daily Mass with my young adult community at my church and it was very moving. first, there's about 30 young people or so who came to Mass and it was great to see how things have changed since i last attended Mass on tuesday. there are about 4 people who have dedicated themselves to picking out and leading the music for the liturgy, including a guitar player--which is great! i also noticed that we had a sacristan and a lector. i think when i was last there for tuesday Mass, we had neither. it was basically the priest who was 'doing' everything. seeing the young adults participate more in the Mass was great, it helps us be more involved in Mass rather than just be spectators and also allows the priest to focus more on the Eucharistic liturgy. anyway, as he was elevating the Eucharist, the choir sang the Agnus and suddenly i was transported back to samos, in the sanctuary of the benedictine monastery, among the history and the martyrs of the Church. i was able to close my eyes for just a second to listen to the sounds of the choir echo in the sanctuary and the people around me sang out and i realized that i could have been anywhere in the world at that time, participating in Mass. it was beautiful. there's so much more i want to say but i just don't quite have the time at the moment. i promise i'll make more of an effort to blog about my experiences and my reflections and what i'm learning in class. it occured to me that somewhere out there, someone may need to read the words i write, not for my glory but for God's. to know the Truth and to know that they are loved. so i will obey what God is asking me to do and write. ireally quickly--it was my birthday this past week and i'm now officially in my "early 30's." whoah. the one fun thing i did for my birthday was buy myself some new cd's from the christian artists that i love, such as matt maher (i've been waiting for this one since the day i purchased his last album--HE'S THAT GOOD!!!), gungor and josh wilson. one of the songs on josh wilson's cd struck a chord with me, so i hope you will check it out on itunes or youtube it to hear it. this is just a line from the song: "You've placed this song inside my heart and all i know to do for You is sing it... no, it's not much, but it's what i've got, and all i know to do for You is sing it." -"Sing It" by Josh Wilson i hope you have a blessed day wherever you are. please know that i am praying for you!!! pax et bonum, crystal