step by step

this wonderful artist is Audrey Assad and she's just plain amazing! this song has been on constant repeat lately... i got to visualizing what it must look like to God for me to try and run to catch up with Him [side running story to come later] and He's probably just holding His arms out, saying, "it's ok, take your time getting here... even better, i'll step back a few steps to help you out." hmmmm.


it's funny what things make us stop and take stock of our lives, isn't it?

well, in case you didn't already know, i started grad school last fall at the university of st. thomas in houston, tx... i'm in a program called the "master of arts in faith & culture" program through the center for faith and culture at ust... when you break down my program, it is essentially learning about modern culture so that we, as the Church, can better implement the New Evangelization and spread the Gospel message to an ever-increasing apathetic world... it is so exciting to me, and totally what God has been stirring in my heart to for the past few years, i couldn't be happier with the program... i have to admit, though, that it has been difficult rising up to the level that graduate school demands of me... it's even harder staying on top of my reading and writing assignments--and trust me, there is something due literally every class period, if not two or three things! it's overwhelming sometimes...

yesterday in my Theology of the Body class (which is breaking open the text 'Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body' by Pope John Paul II) my professor, Father Lockey, talked about and showed us a clip of a movie called "There Be Dragons" which narrates the story of the spanish civil war, with a side story about St. Josemaria Escriva, the 'Saint of Ordinary Life'... in the clip he showed there was an interview with one of the lead actors who talked about his personal struggles while making the film... in such an honest way he described the forgiveness he experienced in coming back into relationship with God through the Church during the course of filming this movie... in his clip he talks about having been addicted for nearly 10 years to drugs, alcohol and other vices, and yet, through the part that he was playing in "There Be Dragons," God spoke to his lonely heart and helped him understand that all the things he was trying to fill the emptiness would never suffice or take the place of God in his heart... he talks about 'lonely behavior' and the way he used to be, stubborn and too proud to ask for help out of his addictions... the juxtaposition to his testimony of what it's like being transparent with his faults and letting God show him the way out of the darkness was just beautiful. that is transformation through Christ!

i hope if you get a chance you will take some time to go see the film, it really looks like it is a great action-packed movie, but it also touches on the reality of our humanity, too... i'm looking for a movie buddy, so if you know anyone... ;)

i wanted to write a little bit more about my Lenten journey but after writing about that actor's transformation i realize that i need to think about some things before i put them out in the blogging universe... i do want to ask for your prayers, though, to help me through my own darkness right now... there's just something that i can't seem to shake that's been bothering me lately, and coloring my world a hazy gray... :|

help me, oh God, to focus on You even when everything is gray around me and even inside of me. let your light shine in me and through to others. change my heart and my mind to reflect Your perfect love. amen.

have a blessed week everyone, more to come soon!

40 Days--Matt Maher

[I love the lyric "40 days to die to self"... it's then that we realize that we really have to put our existence in perspective and that we owe everything to our Creator--we are the creatures!]

Hello World!

Long time, no see! Quick update about my Lenten sacrifice: like many of my friends, I've decided to give up Facebook for 40 days in preparation of Christ's resurrection. The challenge, of course, is not just 'giving up' checking my facebook page or updating my status (which I admittedly do far too often!) but using the time that I would have spent trolling Facebook in a more productive way. One that helps prepare my heart for Christ's resurrection from the dead.

40 days. Doesn't sound that hard at first, but in thinking about how many times I update my status every day or check my mobile Facebook to see what my friends are up to, I realize that I'm on Facebook at least 10 times a day. 10 times!!! AT LEAST!!!

I had to think about how many times I stop and pray per day. Maybe once or twice... if that. Can I be disciplined enough to stop and pray for someone in my family, or my friends, or even better people who can't pray for themselves (the sick, dying, mentally ill, unborn children, the incarcerated, the souls in purgatory)? That's my challenge this Lent... to pray when I get the urge to check my Facebook.

I challenge you all who are thinking about what to give up for Lent to think about giving up Facebook and praying for God's graces to continue working on your heart in order to receive Him fully every day and especially at Easter.

I'll be posting reflections on my Lenten journey here... if you need me, call me or email me. See yall in 40 days or so, Facebook friends!

Prepare the way of the Lord!

In Christ's peace,
Crystal